So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
