Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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