Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
