you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
