I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
