You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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