I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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