Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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