That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
God I need to hump something, right now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
