Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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