Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
