so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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