you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
