whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she smelled like a LAN party
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
