He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
