I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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