Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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