we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
No subtext here. People are naked.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
