Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
