I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
