Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
if only i could text you this smell
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We left an ass print on the piano.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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