well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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