Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
