Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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