I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
