Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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