Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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