Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
