its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
