the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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