do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
