I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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