all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
