You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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