Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
