whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
