I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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