Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
