It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
