so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
