nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
