Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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