Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
