I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
