new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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