I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
two words...techno handjob
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
