when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
