My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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