There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
