I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize