I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
